


Avatar

by anysin



Category: Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Artist Cid Highwind, Character Study, Chocobos, Crossdressing, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-29
Updated: 2017-09-29
Packaged: 2019-01-06 19:04:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12217056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anysin/pseuds/anysin
Summary: Cid finds new purpose in art.





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The arrival of a flock of Chocobos, a rare sight in Rocket Town, helps Cid make up his mind: he's going to start drawing.

His dream of going to space is over and done with; likewise, his career at Shin-Ra is over. At the end of the summer, he will have to hand Highwind over to them too, even though they said she would be his forever, and that'll be it. He needs a new focus for his life. He might as well try art.

He has drawn plenty of ship and rocket designs over the years, but drawing from nature will be a whole new world for him. Cid feels a little apprehensive about entering such world on plain ol' Gaia, when he should have been reaching for the stars, but he forces the feeling down, stomps it until it's not in his chest anymore. It's no use wallowing. He needs to look forward.

*

He starts with simple arrangements.

Still things are easy enough to draw. All they do is sit on the table while he draws, letting him take down their shapes and lines in peace; the new thing he needs to take to account is the light, how it falls and the shadows it casts. He takes to sitting in different parts of the house, taking care to avoid the kitchen which is where Shera likes to sit. He can't deal with the tension in their shared silences.

He forgets all about the Chocobos until a neighbor comes to him with news.

"They're under the Highwind all the time," the old man says as they make their way towards Highwind, and indeed the entire flock is there, grazing by the ship. Cid doesn't know how to feel about that; unlike some other town people, he doesn't mind the birds being around, but maybe he doesn't want them to be so close to Highwind. What if Cid visits her one day and finds her covered in shit?

"Maybe if you did your daily checks again," Shera says when Cid complains to her, and leaves the kitchen before he can complain to her some more.

As much as he hates to admit it, she has a point. He used to go to Highwind every day, even if it was just to hang around at her deck; now he goes there once a week to make that everything is in working order. He has told himself that it's to make the eventual parting from her easier, but maybe he's just being a coward. Maybe he needs to enjoy the time he has with her as long as he has some.

Besides, this might aid with the next step of his drawing journey.

*

Cid has always been a quick learner; once he decides he wants to start drawing living creatures, he starts taking to it quickly. It helps that his subjects are rather co-operative, letting him observe them in peace; it takes him some time to get used to his subjects moving, but he gets a hang of that eventually. Getting some important details down gets easier once the Chocobos decide that they like him.

"You have a connection with these birds," his neighbor comments with awe in his voice, as they both watch a large male Chocobo approach them. It reaches out with its beak for Cid's sketchbook, yanking out a page.

"I dunno, maybe they just know a good thing when they see it." Cid hopes so; he paid a lot for that high quality paper that's being eaten.

Cid has never considered himself to be much of an animal person. He likes working with objects, lifeless things; yet he finds himself liking the Chocobos right back, even getting joyous when he realizes that there are eggs in the nests that they have built near the ship. Overall, Cid appreciates their company; at least he won't be alone with his own thoughts.

*

It doesn't take long for Cid to decide that he wants to try painting, too.

With that, however, he immediately gets more ambitious: he wants to paint a proper pin-up babe on Highwind's flank. He's going to lose Highwind anyway, why not leave a mark on her that she was once his? But so far he's been drawing birds and other creatures only; he hasn't tried to draw a human yet. He has to practice that first, and with no other available models, he has to settle for himself.

To work on his portrait, he returns to his house again, to Shera. Cid can tell she is curious about his new hobby, but she doesn't try to talk to him about it, which he is grateful for; he's not sure if he's ready to share it with her yet. He's sure he will, some day, but he can't see that day coming yet. So he keeps to his room, looking at himself from the mirror as he tries to get his own angles and curves down on the paper.

His attempts at self-portraits start filling his room; soon they spread to the rest of the house. An encounter with Shera is inevitable.

"Can I have this?" Shera dares to ask one day, pointing to one of the better ones.

By then, Cid is ready to negotiate.

"Only if I can have your old heels."

*

The thing is, Cid's not going to find a model for his pinup girl from Rocket Town; there simply isn't a woman in the town who would pose in her bikini to him. Just like Cid has posed for his portraits himself, he will have to be his own pinup girl.

His plan is to just practice the poses in the privacy of his room, using the heels to bring out the musculature of his legs and get in a feminine mindset, and sketch some of those poses down while using the mirror; he will come up with the rest later. But although he gets few good sketches done this way, it's not enough; he wants his pinup girl to be perfect, even if she's based on his own old ass. He wants those fuckers at Shin-Ra to look at her every day, be blinded by her eye-searing reds and her bright blue eyes, wish that her wink was a live one. He wants them to secretly look at Cid himself.

He needs to see her in real life before he can really start putting her on paper. That means he has some shopping to do.

"Oh my goodness," Shera says when he shows his list of items to her, because this is important enough for him to keep the ice between them broken. He takes that as a sign that he's on the right track.

*

When he's ready to photograph himself to get material for his sketches, Cid is alone in his room, wearing a maroon bikini and matching heels, face all painted up and a carrot red wig neatly in place. He sets his hands on his hips and stands straight, checking himself up and down.

He expects embarrassment to wash over him any second now. This isn't going to change anything; even if there's a gaudy pinup babe on the side of Highwind, Shin-Ra is still going to take her away. All this dressing-up is pointless, and probably undignified. But as he keeps looking at himself, the embarrassment doesn't come.

Instead, he now notices the bones of his own face in the way he had never noticed them before, not even during his self-portrait period; he appreciates the sight of the high cheekbones and the strong jawline, his solid nose. His eyes are somehow bluer than ever before, sharp and bright; his normally thin-lipped mouth is now lush and full. His body is obviously masculine, but he'd say he wears the bikini very well anyway; all he needs to add is some softness and curves to the chest and hip and area and he has a strong, healthy girl to paint on Highwind's side.

What he sees in the mirror makes him feel good, and he knows that's also going to look good when he paints it. With a satisfied nod to himself, he goes to his camera.

*

He goes to Highwind after his sketch is done, ready to start painting the pinup on his ship. It's way past mid-summer, but the Chocobos are still there, and there are more of them; he can see tiny Chocobos moving among the long legs of the adult ones when he arrives, looking more like fuzzy walking balls than birds as they waddle about. As he stops to stare at them, they soon take note and start staring at him right back; the adults soon follow the suit.

Cid wonders for a moment if they're going to be spooked by him now, since he's been out of their sight for quite a while, but then the large male, the leader of the flock, chirps to him loud and clear; others follow his example within moments, and they're all soon flapping their wings and bouncing up and down too, even the little ones. The sight makes emotion swell in Cid's chest; he hadn't realized these birds liked him this much. This makes him give into a silly temptation.

"What do you guys think?" he asks, holding out his sketch as he spreads it open.

It's of course pointless; the Chocobos stare at him rather than at the paper, and the paper attracts wrong kind of attention anyway as the leading male takes a step towards Cid, beak open. Cid laughs at the sight, rolling the sketch up again.

"I guess that means you like it!"

When he's up at Highwind's side, painting his human girl on his ship girl, the sun is bright and warm, the Chocobos down below are chirping and fluffing themselves up as they start to play with each other, and Cid can almost forget that his life came to an end just few months ago. But that was then. It looks like he has a new one now.


End file.
